Thursday, December 10, 2009

Breaking Free

From my magnificat this morning...

"Lord our God, you sent your prophets to call all people to abandon their unfaithful pursuits and to return to you with all their hearts in preparation for the day of your coming."

As I drifted off to sleep last night, I was thinking how I desire to change some habits of mine that I feel are preventing me from coming closer to our Lord as well as keeping me from being a better mom and wife. The analogy my drowsy mind thought of was this: I am driving life's roads. I can see the exit ramps that will lead me where I desire to be, but there are these barriers that block my way. They are labeled with these hinderances with which I struggle.

How does one take that "leap of faith" and shed the old ways? For that is what God is daily, gently calling me to do. This morning, I took a little "hop." I got up this morning before the children woke me and went downstairs to my home altar, where I read the morning readings in the Magnificat. I gazed longingly at Our Lady of Guadalupe, imploring her to help me this day. I have always felt a closeness to our Lady, but it deepened when Ben died. She understood this pain I had like no one else. She lost her son too. Then I looked at my picture of the Sacred Heart. There He is, beckoning me, wanting me to allow Him into my heart. It all seems so easy, sitting there in the early morning quiet, just Jesus and me. Why do I not do this every day? It is so nice and I always feel ready to face the world and all it will throw at me. Why do I choose to lay in bed for that extra half an hour until I hear little feet?

This morning is a start, my friend, but I need encouragement.

2 comments:

  1. I really wish I did this, too. I used to, but my sloth has gotten the better of me and I also stay in bed until I hear children in the kitchen. Maybe we should start some sort of challenge for Advent??

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  2. I am glad you started another blog. I just checked in and am looking forward to coming back when I have some time to read your previous posts. God bless and comfort and guide as you write your heart out here.

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