Monday, April 26, 2010

Sugar and Spice

This morning, I woke up smiling. Today was my ultrasound appointment. I cherish those glimpses inside the womb. I have had the privilege of seeing this little child 3 times now and every time, there is an arm up by the face. Today was no exception. I feel like I am getting to know this little person already.

Tony and the kids all came with me. Sadly, Tony's work schedule did not allow him to stay long enough and we had to call him on the phone and have a conference call. Olivia gave him the play by play while Sophie held Jack. Anna sat there, watching my belly more than the screen.

When the tech made the announcement, Anna burst out "I was right!". Then I looked over at Jack. His chin went to his chest and he started sniffling. Then, looking back up, he stated, "It's not a girl, because the baby doesn't have hair." He's fine now and I know he will be a wonderful big brother, because every day, he comes to me and kisses my belly and gives it a good rub and says to me "I love the baby, Mom." Me too, Jack. Me too.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

My Cross

It seems everyone has a 2nd grader this year. Everyone but me. Ben would actually be a 4th grader this year. ( I had to stop and count, and that in itself makes my heart break.) I have been feeling his loss tremendously for several weeks now. The tears stream down my cheeks, and the ache in my heart is as raw as those first days without him. I wasn't sure why until this morning. It is all these First Communicants, smiling, glowing, happy. Don't misunderstand, I hold nothing but joy in my heart for all these dear souls receiving Our Lord for the first time. The truth is I sometimes feel cheated. Ben loved God, pure and simple, and he desired deeply to receive Jesus through this beautiful sacrament. Instead, in the hospital, the priest gave me Jesus' body, over the body of my child, and I tried to be brave. Even now, this memory makes me crumble.

I think about "God's will" and what God wants of me. I had been under the impression that God wanted me to learn more about SUDEP to help others, when maybe, He was helping me get ready for another child with seizures. I don't think I am good at discerning what God is calling me to do. But I am listening, Lord.

I needed to put this into words, but I promise to smile tomorrow, for it will be a new day.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Geometrically Challenged

OK, then. I just finished making tortillas for the 3rd time. They are getting better, but I have one hurdle that I cannot seem to leap. I cannot for the life of me make them round. Can anyone tell me how to roll out round pieces of dough? I can't make a round pie crust, either.

I just liked how this picture turned out. I had set the camera down and that is what I saw in the viewfinder.

Speaking of round, I am beginning to take on that shape, so I started looking through my stash of maternity things. My oldest is 17 years old after all. So I went on eBay to hunt for some bargains. I did fairly well, I think. I got 12 items for a total of $45 and that included shipping. The seller did have a warped sense of humor....she sent them in a box that once contained a case of beer! Sigh.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

It's quiet around here this morning

The kids were watching Tony repair a ripped page of a library book.

Anna: Dad, can I have a piece of tape to put on my mouth, so I can't say anything?

Jack: Me, too!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Fun Friday

I like Friday's. It is the end of the school week, for one. But it also Library Day around here. Each week, new treasures are just waiting to be discovered, along with old favorites that make it home with us week after week. Anna is thoroughly infatuated with Fancy Nancy right now. She wanders about spouting out things like "oh, la, la" and "voila". Jack loves all things trains, fire engines, or construction right now. Today we found a little of all of these.

As we were getting in the van to go home, Jack pointed to the back of the book about trains. "Look! It's a whack!"
Perplexed, I asked him, "A what?"
He pointed specifically at the pick ax and stated, "It's a whack."
Of course, I did not correct him. Too soon, he'll correct himself and I won't be able to laugh inside every time he says it.

Friday is also pizza and movie night over here. Tonight, I will be trying to grill my pizza! I have been wanting to try it for some time now, and today is the day. The sunny skies and nice breeze are beckoning me outside to cook. All around, I hear and see the signs of springtime. It is so lovely to see everything blossoming, don't you think?

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


With lots of laundry to fold and kids that need schooling, what's a momma to do?

After denying this cute child television, she decided to play with the letters that were scattered on the floor.
"How do you spell pumpkin?", she inquired.

"Sound it out." I suggested. And she did it!

Inspired by her success, she continued spelling words on the floor. She contentedly played this way for a long time. How long?

Long enough for the mom to fold this much laundry!

And long enough for Jack to discover that his fingers can get "crinkly" even when he's not in the tub! (He wiped the floor up for me too!)

Now, off to help with Algebra, which I don't think will involve multi-tasking!

Monday, April 12, 2010

On my mind

I just received the following article in an e-mail from a friend. I have often wondered why Catholics are the only group being attacked so viciously for something I figure is happening across the board.

Subject: Jewish Sam Miller on Catholics
Excerpts of an article written by non-Catholic Sam Miller - a prominent Cleveland Jewish businessman:

"Why would newspapers carry on a vendetta on one of the most important institutions that we have today in the United States , namely the Catholic Church?

Do you know - the Catholic Church educates 2.6 million students everyday at the cost to that Church of 10 billion dollars, and a savings on the other hand to the American taxpayer of 18 billion dollars. The graduates go on to graduate studies at the rate of 92%.

The Church has 230 colleges and universities in the U.S. with an enrollment of 700,000 students.

The Catholic Church has a non-profit hospital system of 637 hospitals, which account for hospital treatment of 1 out of every 5 people - not just Catholics - in the United States today

But the press is vindictive and trying to totally denigrate in every way the Catholic Church in this country. They have blamed the disease of pedophilia on the Catholic Church, which is as irresponsible as blaming adultery on the institution of marriage.

Let me give you some figures that Catholics should know and remember. For example, 12% of the 300 Protestant clergy surveyed admitted to sexual intercourse with a parishioner; 38% acknowledged other inappropriate sexual contact in a study by the United Methodist Church , 41.8% of clergy women reported unwanted sexual behavior; 17% of laywomen have been sexually harassed. Meanwhile, 1.7% of the Catholic clergy has been found guilty of pedophilia. 10% of the Protestant ministers have been found guilty of pedophilia. This is not a Catholic Problem.

A study of American priests showed that most are happy in the priesthood and find it even better than they had expected, and that most, if given the choice, would choose to be priests again in face of all this obnoxious PR the church has been receiving.

The Catholic Church is bleeding from self-inflicted wounds. The agony that Catholics have felt and suffered is not necessarily the fault of the Church. You have been hurt by a small number of wayward priests that have probably been totally weeded out by now.

Walk with your shoulders high and you head higher. Be a proud member of the most important non-governmental agency in the United States . Then remember what Jeremiah said: 'Stand by the roads, and look and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it, and find rest for your souls'. Be proud to speak up for your faith with pride and reverence and learn what your Church does for all other religions.
"Be proud that you're a Catholic."

edited to say: A commentor brought to my attention that the statistics for Protestant clergy were incorrect. I do not want to hurt any of my Christian brothers and sisters, and if these statistics are wrong, I apologize. The reason I posted this was to point out that the Catholic Church is not the only place plagued by this problem. It is widespread and we should be working together to eliminate the problem, not pointing fingers at one specific group.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

God likes irony

Remember how I wanted to read Introduction to the Devout Life for Lent? Well, I put it aside to read Search and Rescue because someone was asking me questions about Faith and I needed some guidance. I want God to be able to use me if He so desires to bring someone back to Him. The book was very helpful and I underlined a lot of good ideas. At the back of the book is a list of books to read that will help one in their mission. The first book on the list? Yep. The one I was already reading.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

This and That

  • Looking back over these long weeks of Lent, I am generally disappointed in myself. I had wanted to better myself through more prayer and reading Introduction to the Devout Life. I am nowhere close to finishing the book, but I will explain that in a moment. Prayer time, however, is where I failed miserably. Lots of nights, I fell asleep while reading to the kids. I continue to struggle with being tired. I still desire to deepen my prayer life and will not walk away from this challenge.

  • I had also wanted to work on my patience with the kids. They may disagree, but I feel like I did make some progress in this area. Those first weeks of pregnancy, the entire world in general irritated me. People breathing got under my skin! I yelled a lot. I am still easily irritated, but I have been trying to offer up these frustrations for special intentions. Which brings me to the reason why I have not made much progress on the book I had chosen. I think God wanted me to read another book. Search and Rescue by Patrick Madrid. I have not finished this one, yet, though I am close. Pray for me and for the reason I am reading this book, please!

  • My mother always says, "You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." And she is right. I have been trying to keep a smile on my face when I go out and I don't think it is a coincidence that the people I have encountered have been just as friendly.

  • You may recall that a few months ago, the doctor wanted to put Sophie on oral contraceptives for irregular cycles. Well, we went back to the doctor the other day to get her health records updated for college and another doctor, who claimed to be Roman Catholic, told us he was "on our team" and felt certain that the Church was "OK with oral contraceptives in medical issues." At least he ordered more blood drawn to see if there were any abnormal levels. I think he was mad that I did not take his advice.

  • Anna seems to be doing well on the seizure medication. She does sleep in longer than she used to, but so did Ben on this medication. My anxiety levels are dropping slowly, and I have moved her back into her room at night with the monitor turned up extra high.

  • Not too long ago, I was reading the blog of an incredible woman. She mentioned a give-away on another blog, by a woman who makes hand-crafted jewelry. It was for a necklace in remembrance of a lost loved one. Guess who won? ME!!! I never win anything. Here is the necklace I won. I had Ben's name put on the back.

  • I get to be with my family for Easter, so I want to wish everyone a Blessed Easter. Thanks for putting up with my ramblings.