Thursday, September 27, 2012

I'm not complaining. Really.

Peter doesn't sleep very much or for very long. I have been trying to keep things in perspective. I mean, there are people with much worse problems than a sleepless baby. I keep thinking of those future saints who undergo being tortured for the faith. Then I think, isn't sleep deprivation a form of torture? I am averaging two hours of sleep a night. On a good night. Right now I am still functioning but I have a feeling it is going to catch up with me soon. I am offering up these sleepless nights and crazy days for a very special and worthy intention.

My arms are so tired. Not just from holding him, but from our crazy nursing sessions. I am happy to report that he has been gaining weight and we have been able to completely eliminate the formula supplement. However, any visions of sweetly nursing a newborn are not happening here. He squirms and twists his body the whole time. He pops on and off. He arches his whole body until he looks like the letter u. It is like a wrestling match.

I think I could probably handle all this but then there is Therese. She has been waking at least once a night as well. During the day, she is taking advantage of me being tied down when nursing/wrestling. She has colored the walls. She has been taking off her diaper, sometimes with messy results. I had to call poison control this week when she got a hold of stovetop cleaner and emptied the whole bottle. I was not sure if she ingested any, so I made the call. She is fine.

This morning, I finally laid Peter down at 4:15 and fell into the bed. Fifteen minutes later, Tony's alarm went off to go to work, waking Peter, Therese, and me. I cried.

How am I typing right now, you may ask? He is asleep in the snuggli and I am perched on the edge of the chair. Therese is currently naked. Again.

Thank goodness I find him so irresistably cute.


  1. Jenny -- your lack of sleep (and Peter's) + Peter's restlessness during feedings arching his back in a U smell like reflux to me. Maelys had reflux and colic. I felt like the sleep deprivation was going to kill me, and frankly, Eternal Rest sounded like music to my ears. I would mention what's going on with his feedings to your pediatrician and maybe ask about baby Zantac? i've been thinking of and praying for you often. I still have something for you here, too. Need to find the darned post office in town! ;)

  2. We can function without much sleep. I know that isn't what you want to hear, but it helped me when I had insomnia. You body can go for years with little sleep. You will not function as well but it can be done. Tell yourself that over and over again. I found that being worried about not sleeping was harder on me that the actual lack of sleep. After I read up on sleeping and realized that we can function with little sleep, I was relieved. Good Luck.

  3. Oh, Jenny, I will be thinking and praying for you when I am up in the night pumping and feeding. Much love to you. (I should clarify that I never get 6 in a row hours...but get much more than 2) I am so glad you are getting enough milk now. that, I am sure is a big relief off your shoulders.

    Little Peter is just adorable, please give him extra kisses from me!!! He looks just like you!!

    (hey, at least there's no lice flying around, right?)

  4. Praying for you and Peter, Jenny. :-(

  5. My Noah was a lot like that. He refused to have his head under a shirt and hated facing me -- he constantly popped off to see what was going on. I had two other little boys at the time and could not go in a quiet room by myself. At six months we were done and I started bottles. He also lived in the snugli -- it was the only place he was content.

    I hope things get better for you very soon. Do talk to you doctor. You never know what experience he has had that may help.

    I have a little something for Peter to mail, but wanted to pick up some goodies for the other little kids. What foods are you all avoiding?

  6. newborn poetry...full of angst and love. hope you get some sleep and a baby who nurses easily...someday soon. said a prayer for you both.

  7. How could you not love those wide eyes and that cute face! Praying for you - especially for more sleep!