Random Randomness

My little counter on the sidebar says 10 days and counting. These nine months have gone by much faster than I wanted. I love this time that I get to myself with the baby. It is a time for bonding that no one can share but the two of us and God. She is with me every minute, wherever I am. I am reluctant to give that up, yet at the same time I am so eager to hold her in my arms. I look at the crib and smile as I picture her resting peacefully in the place I have lovingly prepared for her.

But there is the anxiety that I try to keep at bay. What if? I know that tragic things can happen, do happen. Is it possible to ever not think about the potential heartache after losing a child? Every little elbow jab, I say a little prayer of Thanksgiving that she is still OK.


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In the midst of the confusion of packing up the car in the wee morning hours, we missed several things. We were probably not very quiet that morning and maybe, someone noticed that suitcases were going in the back of the van. As we pulled out, however, one thing we made sure happened: that the garage door closed. The week before, when we left for the beach, we accidentally left it open and our neighbors who feed the cat closed it for us. So, we watched the door come down and pulled away.

Two days later, we returned from Ohio without Sophie. As the garage door opened, we noticed that the side door to the garage was ajar. Strange. We must not have locked it. I had a bad feeling, but after looking through the house, everything seemed in its place. It was late and we went to bed.

One week later, Tony had worked hard to put the finishing touches on the garage. He called me out to see the fruit of his labor. I scanned the garage carefully. Everything had a place and looked wonderful. Except. There weren't enough bicycles. Tony's bike is gone and I feel violated. Someone knew we wouldn't be home. Someone came into our home. Someone took our belongings. It is only a bicycle, but the idea that someone was watching us disturbs me.

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There is a hurricane approaching. Did you know that? It should arrive overnight tonight, though I haven't been particularly worried. Until I realized that Olivia wants to go to a concert tonight in Virginia Beach. Which means travelling across that darned bridge/tunnel. Have I mentioned my irrational fear of bridges? She has only mentioned how excited she is about this concert on an hourly basis. You can see the spring in her step and the joy in her heart when she talks about going. I will watch the forecast throughout the day. I pray that I don't have to make a decision that will crush her spirits.

I don't think you can get much more random than that! Have a blessed day, my friends.