Last night, I made a big leap of faith. I let Anna spend the night at a friend's house. Her first sleepover, which is a big event in a little girl's life. But this mama hen has kept her chicks very close to her since losing Ben. Sure Sophie has been away at college, but she is 19 and it is time for her to test her wings. It is different with the little ones. Especially Anna. I feel this need to keep her closer. Call it a mama's intuition. She is still there, probably having the best of times, while the mama waits, trusting that all is well.
Well now. It has been quite a while, hasn't it? I have kept silent about my struggles for the past four years, mainly because I was in the midst of something that I never imagined could happen to our family. And it wasn't just my story. It still is not. A friend once told me I am an external processor, and I suppose she is right. I find that saying things out loud help me find the answer, if there is one. There was no good answer, as it turns out. And so, I am sad to say, that I am now divorced. A single mother, navigating a life I never imagined. But there are some things that haven't changed. My faith, for one. I know that God is with me on this journey and that He is way smarter and wiser than I could ever be. He has held me close as I wept and grieved the end of my marriage. He held my hand as I packed up what would fit in a moving truck and drove our belongings to a new home. He has led me to new jobs and I can only trust that all will be well if only I cont...
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