...have been rough. I want to chronicle things here for reference later on, but mostly because I think it is therapeutic to write out the emotional toughies. I have to say the biggest emotional hurdle for me is my guilt. Guilt that they talked me into an induction. Because I was fearful of a terrible labor on pitocin, I opted for an epidural for the first time in 20 years. As I reached the transitional phase of labor, Peter began to be distressed. His heart rate plummeted and there was a great commotion to try and help him. Luckily, we got him here quickly and safely, but I immediately felt guilty for having chosen this path. When we came home two days later, Peter had lost half a pound. Not unusual for a breast-fed baby, but as my milk became more abundant, Peter was not plumping up like I expected. It took him forever to feed and was still hungry. At a weight check on Saturday morning, he had not gained any weight. He had not lost any more, but neither had he gained. I decided...