Lest I Forget

What do I do when I am an emotional wreck, not being able to keep up with my daily activities? Why, I try to make homemade tortillas, of course! I found several recipes on foodgawker.com. You should check it out. Thanks to Jack's dairy intolerance, I had to pull from several different recipes to put together one I wanted to try. The dough was easy enough and kneaded up quite nicely. Then all the recipes said the same thing: make golf ball size balls of dough. Not being an avid golfer, I am not sure that these are accurately sized. (Though I did manage to win the first place trophy in my age group when my dad signed me up for golf lessons. Did I mention I was the only one in my age group?) After letting them rest for a while, I fired up the griddle and started making tortillas! After a short break to write a blog post, I will go put together the bean mixture for our burritos, which only takes about 20 minutes. Oh, by the way, I did sample one and they are yummy. I don't know how...

Outside my window...it is still dark but I cannot sleep. My mind is full of thoughts that keep me awake. I am thinking...about Anna, about SUDEP, about how to control my fears, about how to trust God in all this, about how to get her the best care possible. When we went through this with Ben, the doctors seemed so unconcerned by his case and I thought we were doing all the right things and Ben seemed so healthy. Now, the doctors still seem unconcerned, but I am not! I feel the need to fight for more monitoring of her condition. I am thankful for...my family all under one roof again after a weekend apart. From the learning rooms...hoping a new week and a fresh start and healthy kids will make for a productive week. From the kitchen...I need to make bread today. I may try my hand at the no knead bread from "Artisan Bread in 5 Minutes a Day". I had been using my bread machine while my fingers healed from some pretty bad burns, and while I am grateful to have that machine, it can...

There is a little book by my bed. It is the Magnificat and as tiny as it is, it can be the greatest comfort to me. It also never ceases to amaze me that God speaks to me so directly at times through the words within this little magazine. Six months ago, Anna had a seizure. She had come into bed with me at some point during the night, and as Tony had just started a school where he would be gone during the week, I did not mind the company. As daylight was just starting to dissolve the darkness outside, I became aware that she was having a seizure. Adrenal pumping, I talk to her, knowing that she won't hear me, letting her know she is not alone. As soon as it is over, I call 911. The EMT's arrive and because Anna is frightened by them, they let the hospital know we are on our way in our own car. The outcome of this event is a normal EEG and the neurologist decides to "wait and see" before starting any medications. The other effects of this night are emotional. I am fille...

By 4 am, there is a soft, gentle rain outside that makes cozy sounds on the roof. In the tree outside my window, birds are chattering the morning gossip to one another. It is so peaceful, and all is quiet and I am tempted to close my eyes once again. But I know I must reach across the bed to feel the forehead of a little boy. This time, it is too hot. I gently lift him up to give him some medicine and a sip of juice and he lays back down and mumbles "I love you Mom" before returning to his restless sleep. Now it is light, and my little boy has come down the stairs to me, cool and happy. I know we are not out of the woods yet, and in a few hours, the glazed eyes and listless body will return. And I will care for a cranky little boy because "I love you too Jack".

Outside my window ...there were birds chirping! Could it be? Could there be an end to this long winter in sight? They were so cheery, those birds, I could almost imagine sunshine and warm weather. I am thinking ...about this new little baby. Constantly. I ended up buying a fetal heart monitor. I will admit that I am scared of another miscarriage. I know that God's design is perfect and I will accept whatever he chooses for me. In the meantime, hearing a little heartbeat brings me a sigh and a smile. I am thankful for ...a new idea and the determination to carry it out. From the learning rooms ...hoping that offering a reward at the beginning of the week to be received on Friday only if all work for the week is complete may be the ticket. From the kitchen ...a new sink! When we moved in, the sink was the shallowest one I have ever seen. It was only 6 inches deep. Water always went everywhere. Tony and his lovely assistant, Sophie, installed a new sink and faucet, saving us the $300 ...