Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Wednesday Morning Daybook

Outside my window...a gray sky that looks like one giant cloud; trees with no leaves, naked and vulnerable; the remnants of my garden which appears abandoned and forgotten. I am glad to be inside where it is much warmer in temperature and spirit!

I am thinking...about all the last minute things that need my attention.

I am thankful family all together!

From the lesson plans...some time off and we have earned it! We just finished week 14. The lesson plans from CHC have Christmas break scheduled at the end of this very week!

From the kitchen...baking, baking, and more baking today! I doubt I will need the fireplace on today. I need to make bread, 4 batches of pizza dough to freeze and take to my mother's house for dinner one night while we are there with everyone (which is 20 people this year!), and of course cookies!

I am wearing... my pj's and warm cozy slippers.

I am creating...a mess in my kitchen! Also, two hooded towels like this, without ears though, for two special little people in the house!

I am reading...Christmas stories to the kids. Thank you to Tomie DePaola for such wonderful stories!

I am hoping...for safe, uneventful travel to my parent's house. And may there be peace in the back of the van (we will be seven people in a seven passenger van, with three in carseats)!

I am hearing...Therese's soft breathing as she drinks her bottle in my arms. (I am getting better at one-hand typing). Footsteps above me tell me that I will soon have company down here.

Around the house...a beautiful tree, a manger waiting for the arrival of our Savior, garland on the stair railing, and other decorations reminding us of the season.

I am be in the kitchen ALL DAY!

One of my favorite baby's smile and sweet cooing and babbling as she tries to tell me about her day.

I am praying for...all those on my list of special intentions.

A few plans for the rest of the week...enjoying my family!

A picture thought...I wish I could share one, but our computer crashed last week, and now I can't figure out why my camera only wants to load all the pictures (500) instead of just the ones that haven't already been downloaded. Argh.

If I figure it out, I'll add one later!

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Life is not a bowl of cherries...

Sometimes, life is like a lemon. Sure it is pretty and sunny and yellow on the outside. Inside? Not so much. Lately I have felt like a lemon. The holidays can do that, you know. I have been fairly sour inside, and when the pressures of the day get to me, that sourness comes out in my words and actions. Sad to say, but oh so true.

I think we all can put on a good show for others when we are out and about, or blogging for that matter. But what about when we think no one is looking? I don't feel like I have done much to prepare my heart or the children for the coming of Baby Jesus. What is it called when you only do the absolute necessities and ditch the rest? Oh, yes, survival mode. With a new baby of our own, survival mode has been the speed around here.

I'm not even sure where I am trying to go with all this except: Tonight my family was gathered around me, enjoying a movie and one another. It was lovely and simple, sweet and delicious. I think I might have a glass of lemonade.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Word of the Day

reneckerize-v. to identify as something previously seen

as in: Mom, do you reneckerize this picture?

Friday, December 10, 2010

View From the Sink

After noticing that about half of the blogs I enjoy reading had posts of their sinks today, I decided to jump in now that the kids are settled in for the night. To see what I am talking about, go over here.

So many things drew us to this house. The kitchen was not one of them. You would think that would be important, since that is where I spend the majority of my day. If not for the half wall between the kitchen and the den, it would be a galley kitchen. But from my dish-washing spot, I can see my family and I do appreciate that.

Originally, there was a bar that extended into the den and took up an extra foot of space. We removed that and put in a simple piece of wood to cap off the wall. To me, it really made the space much more visually appealing.

I do like order in my kitchen. The dishwasher is to the left of the sink. All dirty dishes are stacked just above the dishwasher. They are rinsed and loaded and then the hand-washed items are cleaned and put in the right side of the sink to dry. To the right of the sink are the cabinets that hold the dishes, so you can quickly put everything away.

As for pretty things, I work best in an uncluttered area. To me, pretty is clean lines. One of my friends once called my decorating style minimalistic. I'd say that is an accurate assessment. She also taught me the beauty of cleaning up as I cook. I could actually write a separate post of all the things she taught me!

Only a few things are allowed to reside on my kitchen ledge. This poor plant is one of them. I just can't seem to water it the correct amount. Every time my mother visits, she gets my house plants looking wonderful. She hasn't been here in a couple of months and my plants are proof of that! But I do like having that plant there. It was given to us at Ben's funeral and it reminds me not only of him, but also the dear friend that gave it to us. Beside it is one of my favorite pictures of the first three kiddos.

After being in this house for just over a year, my little kitchen has grown on me. It is cozy, yet efficient. It is where I provide for my family their nourishment for their bodies. It is where we gather together for food, and family games, and quiet conversations. It is in the center of the house, just as the heart of a home should be.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Yarn Along 4

Wow! It is cold outside. In front of the fireplace is my favorite spot right now. It may not be a real wood fireplace like we used to have, but it is still cozy, inviting, and warm. So. Back to how cold it is. Poor Anna, the only gloves in her size are Ben's old ones that have baseballs on them. Therefore, I am taking a break from the blanket to knit up a pair of pink mittens for her. I made the first one yesterday, but I have not had as much time today. (We went to Mass* this morning and did our schoolwork in the afternoon.)

The books are from Anna's suggested reading for this week in her lesson plans. I am so grateful that our wonderful library had both titles available. They were both delightful stories to read to the children. I have not started anything new myself. I am barely keeping up with my Magnificat.

Go on over and visit Ginny to see what everyone else is knitting and reading.

*Note to self: Never, never boast to yourself that you managed to get three children ready for Mass on time. You will only discover that while you were driving, a certain 6 year old managed to entangle her hair in the round hairbrush so entirely that it will take you until the Gospel to remove the thing from her head.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Question of the Day....

is from Anna.

"Mom, which one," she inquired, pointing in her mouth, "is my sweet tooth?"

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Lost in Translation

What do you think this says? When Anna first taped this to the kitchen wall, I didn't really look closely at the left hand. When I did, I stopped. "I love my dumb mom bad"??? Huh? I asked her what it said.

"I love my mom and dad. Only I forgot the 'and' and had to put it over mom and dad."

The 'a' looks like a 'd' and 'u' because she likes to makes them fancy, with a curved line. Only she didn't connect the circle and the line. Lower case 'b' and 'd' are still confusing for her.

And the "tape"? We are out. Again. (At least this time she didn't use glue, like Jack did on my dining room chairs) So, my resourceful daughter raided the school supply box and found the hole reinforcers. Now we are out of those, too.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

One of those days

The weather outside my window matches my heart today. Overcast, rainy, and sudden gusts of wind that blow the leaves every which way. My thoughts have been overcast in mood lately. Tears run freely before I even know I am sad. Bursts of emotion tumble me around just like that wind with those leaves.

I used to think that the "firsts" would be the hardest after Ben died. And they were. But now, it is still hard, yet in a different way. There is a fading of things: the sound of his voice, his mannerisms, his laugh. I feel them slipping from my mind. I try and grab them, but they fade like a dream upon wakening. I feel ashamed and angry that I cannot recall these things clearly. Each day takes me a little farther away from my boy and yet a little closer if you think about it. I will not live forever and therefore one day will join him in Heaven. The waiting for that day is not easy.

I have been thinking about this for a while now, but the words wouldn't come out right. They still don't, really. I wish I had even a few minutes to myself to sort out this jumble of thoughts in my head. Sometimes, just writing out the sad things is like a good cry. It doesn't change anything, but you feel relieved of a heavy burden.

Christmas shopping: I see things I know he would have loved to play with and it tugs at my heart knowing he is not here anymore.

At the commissary: A mother calls out "Benjamin" to her little boy and my head turns to see if he looks like my Benjamin.

At Mass: they sing a song he used to belt out with such enthusiasm and I choke up and cannot get out the words.

Meeting someone (who looks at the spacing of our children): they assume I've remarried and say "you have 2 little families". I want to chide them and reply, "No, my family was ripped in half." I would never do this, of course. I just smile and nod.

There. Heavy burden lightened for today. Tomorrow will be better. I have a cute story to share.